My daughter will turn a year older once again tomorrow Sept 30 2011 and here I am once again... getting all sentimental. If my daughter will read this – which she will one of these days, she’ll probably laugh at me.
I'm watching you starting on new paths, challenging boundaries, exploring a new independence, yet needing to stay close to home. Your passion and creativity, your love of music and theatrical fantasy, your imagination ... all make up the beautiful child that you are, and the young woman that you are on the brink of becoming.
And to think, you almost weren't to be.
I know you know this story, and we often refer to you as our miracle baby. For as you know, there is good reason for your title ...
I started bleeding. I was only 30 weeks along, and had had problems in the past, two miscarriages so I knew this was not a good sign. Your dad and I rushed to the hospital on Sept 30Th 2000.. Once we got to the hospital we heard the bad news - even with the most sensitive ultrasound, she could see no heartbeat, nor a viable pregnancy. My doctor looked at me for a moment, and said, "Let's try the ultrasound again, just to be sure." That was the moment we found your heartbeat.
I new you were still alive inside me ..And to add insult to injury, I was still experiencing all the symptoms and discomforts of pregnancy, all the while knowing that I might never see you, hold you, or otherwise experience the joy of having you in our lives. It Scared me to death. And so it has been with your life. On your own schedule, on your own time, when you were ready. All the major milestones - walking, talking, riding a bike, learning your math facts. Resistant to the moment when you decided, "Now, I will." And so you have. And so you will.
We may fight, you may try my patience. You may think I don't understand, but I understand more than you know. My family laughs when we struggle, for they say you are a mini-me. That may be so, but I also know this: I loved you the moment I knew we were having you, and loved you more the days I thought we lost you. But that will never equal the love that has grown as you have grown, and will continue to love you always and forever.
It's so incredibly hard to believe you Will be 11 tomorrow but it is harder to believe that you haven't been a part of our lives forever. You are really such a beautiful, wonderful child with a personality that warms every one's heart. Your smile in contagious and boy do you wear it everywhere you go. 11 years old tomorrow wow say it isn't so! How time flies. I remember when you were a few weeks old & all you could do was eat, sleep, poop. I loved how I could hold & cuddle with you (you were such a snuggle bunny). You were a very good baby considering what you went through..
Fast forward 11 years, you are a vibrant and happy little girl. You have such a great personality & love of life. You are super funny (which I have to believe is inherited from me) and you love running around & playing. I love how you jump into things & aren’t afraid to try new things (except when it comes to food). You also have a wonderful love of animals. You are so kind to our dog Diesel even though he isn't to you sometimes.. But I think what I love most about you is the way you make me feel. You make me feel like a million bucks when you run into my arms & yell out excitedly, “Mommy, Mommy.” You are truly one of the most spectacular things to happen to me. I look forward to the many experiences we will encounter together. Now with you growing up in front of my very eyes, I want to shelter you from the pain and the hardship which I know will be next to impossible. For I know that whatever I tell you to do, you will soon go your own way, to take up your own destiny.
We may have our differences but I can never imagine my life without you (and your brother). You are my first born, you inspired me to be a better person. It was when I had you that I realized I needed to have direction in my life – you gave that to me and I thank you for that.
I'm so grateful that God gave me you as a daughter. No matter how many birthdays come and go, you'll always be my little girl. Happy Birthday, my princess!
Nevertheless, I am confident that whatever challenges life will give you, you will come out of it triumphantly for we (you daddy and I) have raised you to be resilient. Your experiences will mould you and that will be the fingerprint of your life. I may not be there every single moment of your life but rest assured that I will never stop praying for you.
I love you, Mommies little Sunshine. Have a wonderful 11Th birthday!
All My Love,
Mommy
While these moments are funny and make us laugh, it's the moments I can steal in the early morning and late at night when I fight the growing up.
And a dose of reality too- you're an angel sent from God to your daddy and I with out you not sure where either of us would be Skylar Leigh we love you so much.
Thanks for being such a happy kid - you deserved a very happy birthday.
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